Training in Relationship

An important part of professional training to help other people is to develop the practitioner's own emotional and social awareness and skills.

It is important that they show in their behaviour and attitudes, in and out of the classroom, that they are respectful, responsive and potent in their dealings with others. It is important to note that negative feedback needs to be constructive in execution and intent and must not include labelling or shaming the recipient.

Conduct and Attitude - walking our talk.

• Appreciates the necessity for boundaries in personal and professional life and conducts themselves in the light of that understanding, e.g. punctuality, essay deadlines etc.
• Takes responsibility for learning rules and procedures and checking anything that is unclear.
• Makes and keeps contracts of all kinds.

Emotional and Social Competence - expressions of 'response-ability'.

• Identifies and expresses own thoughts and feelings clearly in ways which are readily heard and understood by others.
• Infers others feelings and attitudes from expressions and behaviour, and checks their intuitions in a non-judgemental way.
• Gives positive, unqualified, non-comparative feedback and checks it has been fully heard and understood.
• Gives negative feedback in a non-judgemental, non-comparative way that is most likely to promote change.
• Accepts positive, non-comparative feedback openly and graciously.
• Accepts negative feedback and uses it as information to change or, after thoughtful consideration, rejects the negative feedback and gives ground for doing so.
• Shows awareness of their impact on others and seeks information about this in a non-defensive way.
• Refrains from gossip and gives feedback directly to the person it 'belongs' to.
• Understands that there are many aspects of human experience that are not clear cut and manages their anxiety about ambiguity.
• Shows a sense of proportion about themselves, others and the world - understanding that healthy self-esteem does not include false modesty or demanding special treatment.
• Has a positive attitude to unexpected changes and emergencies.
• Can apologise and where appropriate make amends without self-punishment.
• Can accept an apology graciously.

Useful quotations

"Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die."
Malachy McCourt

"Gossip hurts three: he who says it, he who hears it, and he who is it about."
Yiddish proverb

"There may be things about that person, which if you knew them would change your whole attitude towards them."
Anon

"Things should be made as simple as possible - but no simpler."
Albert Einstein